For the Boys: What's In, What's Out

Okay, all you boys out there. Especially you there in Silicon Valley. ("Boys" includes you, if you're somewhere between the ages of puberty and age-defying.) There’s no reason to look like Ed Grimly, or Inspector Gadget. No reason to smell like you've been locked up in a closet with old gym clothes either. So, as a favor to us women, take heed to these fashion and man-scaping tips.

PANTS:
In: Flat front pants.
Out: Pleated pants.
(Do you really think pleats make you look thin? No. They make you look fat everywhere.)

In: Pants long enough to touch the very top of your heel.
Out: I can see your socks when you’re standing still.

SOCKS:
In: Mid-calf. Matches your pants or shoes.
Out: I can see your pasty, white, hairy legs when you cross your legs. Eeww!!!

SHIRTS:
In: Nicely pressed (by the cleaners) shirts, or no-iron, all cotton tailored or close-fitted shirts. (Check out Nordstrom or Brooks Brothers).
Out: Loose, billowy shirts with the straight out of bed-I don’t have a wife-I do my own laundry look.
Very Out: Shirts with a company logo. Any shirt with any logo. Out.

(Tip: If you must slip a pen into your shirt pocket, please make sure it’s a nice pen, and not one with some company’s logo, or worse, a Bic Pen.)

JACKETS:
In: Whether it’s a suit jacket or sports jacket, shoulders should fit perfectly and jacket should be fitted.
Out: Oversized shoulders and wide armholes. You’re not planning to wear football shoulder pads in there, are you?

SHOES:
In: Prada-like slip on loafers, or shoes with a strap and a side buckle.
Out: Tassles- so 80’s. Sneakers- gross. Crocs- unless you're gardening.

Now for some man-scaping tips. (Man-scaping: taken from the word "landscaping", it is the art of grooming men's hair and other body parts.)

In: Unscented deodorant (Clinique makes the best).
Out: Deodorant that matches your cologne. I don’t care how much you sweat, you shouldn’t pile stink on stink. I’ll run the other way.
Way, Way Out: No deodorant at all.

In: Cologne that I can’t smell. Or no cologne at all.
Out: The kind I can smell all the way down the hall and know you’re somewhere in the vicinity. And by the way, I don’t want to smell like you after a meeting in a hermetically sealed conference room.

(Tip: If you insist on wearing cologne, ask a fashion-forward female friend to help you choose one, and teach you how much to wear. Make sure she’s the type to tell you the truth. To play safe, stay away from it all together. There’s nothing sexier than smelling like soap and water.)

In: A close shave. Or a 3-5 day old growth, nicely trimmed.
Out: Shaving everywhere but leaving that furry growth under your chin. What is that!!

In: Clean, hair-free ears.
Out: Hairy, fuzzy ears. Not only do I want to have to look at your ears closely, but I certainly don't want to see little bits of hair sticking out here, there and everywhere. Take 5 more minutes, turn your head a little more and shave those puppies.

In: Neatly trimmed finger nails.
Out: Long nails; or long on one hand or short on another; or a long pinky or thumb nail. If you plan to use these as a screwdriver, here’s $2 bucks. Buy a real one. It looks AWFUL.
Oh – and dirty nails. There is NO excuse for dirty nails. I’d hate to find out what else is dirty.

In: Nicely groomed feet.
Out: Long nails, dead nails, calluses. I don’t even want to think about it.

In: A nice haircut. Or if you’re losing it, a buzz cut. The long hair isn’t fooling anyone.
Out: Slicked back hair or a comb over. (Tip:Your hair should compel women (or men, whichever way you swing) to run their fingers through it)

Extra tips:
In: A nice, well toned body.
Out: A beer gut.

In: A good gay friend to help you get a good girl friend.
Out: A good guy friend to keep you from getting the good girl friend.

Visual: For the Boys. What's In- What's Out

"Mad Men" (series on AMC about Madison Avenue advertising world in the 60's) well tailored look - VERY in.

Ed Grimly - out.

The Royal Scoop on NOT Catching the Travel Bug

OK, so it’s obvious I spend a lot of time in airplanes. Being a person who hates being sick, or being bogged down by some contagious illness that could've been prevented in the first place, I’ve discovered a few tricks of my own for NOT catching the travel bug. By that, I mean the cold or cough one usually gets from recycled airplane air contaminated by fellow travelers who think nothing of hacking and hachooing their way at 35,000 feet. Yuck. You can take Airborne all you want, but one never knows whether those dressed-like-Martians-or-mechanics that come and clean the interior of an airplane really do a job worthy of my inspection, clean-freak, germaphobe that I am. So, to you jet-setters and world travelers, here’s my secret recipe on staying healthy and bug-free while travelling.

Ingredients:
2 sarongs (the beach kind that wraps around your bathing suit)
1 pair lightweight, black yoga or workout pants
1 black long sleeve t-shirt
1 pair earphones, noise cancelling headset, or equiv - whatever you can afford.
1 pair socks (unless travelling business or first class and you get these for free)
1 pair earplugs (unless ditto above)
Small package anti-bacterial wipes
1 pkg disposal pillow covers (available at Edwards Luggage or any travel store)
1 travel size moisturizer
1 travel size toothpaste
1 toothbrush

Procedure:
1. Upon settling to cruising altitude, proceed directly to "empty" lavatory.
2. Peel off your nice, presentable, travel clothes (one most always look decent when travelling – no shorts, sandals, sneakers or tank tops allowed). Change to long sleeve black shirt and workout pants. Fold and put away nice travel clothes for later use.
3. Return to your seat.
4. Remove shoes and put on socks.
5. Cover seat entirely with one sarong. You don't want your head touching that headrest.
6. Wipe down entire seating area with anti-bacterial wipes. Don’t forget the touchpad for the radio, video, armrest, fold-away table. God knows the Martians didn’t wipe these down and who knows whose fingers have been there. And where those fingers have been.
7. Recline seat.
8. Cover airline-issued pillow with disposal pillowcase.
9. Place 2nd sarong over you, and the airline issued blanket over that. Make sure nothing airline-issued touches you
10. Buckle your seatbelt.
11. Plug headset in, choose a channel. Have a good time listening to music or watching a movie.
12. Have a glass of wine before dinner. Skip the nuts unless they’ve been warmed in the microwave.
13. Place seat upright when real food arrives and have two glasses of wine with dinner and one after.
14. After meal, unbuckle yourself and untangle yourself from the comfortable and germ-free environment that you just spent hours setting up.
15. Proceed again to the "empty" lavatory. Do your business, then wash your hands, brush your teeth with your own travel toothbrush and toothpaste. Airline issued ones don’t do the trick well enough.
16. Moisturize hands, because you know darn well that dehydration started hours ago and your static-y hair will soon be standing and sticking to everything and the skin on your face will start to flake off. The 4 drinks you had should start to take effect now.
17. Repeat steps 6 to 10.
18. Have another glass of wine. Plus, maybe a melatonin as insurance for the 6 hours of sleep you need before you land and head into a meeting.
19. Remove headset and replace with earplugs.
20. Recline seat again and doze off. Sweet dreams…and all that.
21. Awake an hour before landing.
22. Unbuckle and proceed to lavatory and reverse steps 2-4.
23. Skip breakfast of whatever meal they serve before landing. The calories just aren’t worth it.
24. Repeat step 14 and 15
25. Reverse steps 4-9. Make sure to dispose of the "disposable" pillow case.
26. Make yourself presentable for arrival. Whether you're seeing the officer at passport control, your boss, a co-worker or your loved one who's dying to see you after a long absence, there's nothing worse than coming off an airplane looking and smelling like something the cat dragged in. Even if it was a 24 hour trip. There is just no excuse.

The above surely will generate looks of disbelief from strangers all around you and comments like “I don’t know you” from your travelling companions. Ignore them all. Trust me when I say, this will ensure a healthy, bug-free and pleasant trip to whatever destination you are headed to.

Bon Voyage!!

Beijing Primer Part I: First Stop - Wang Fu Jin

There are many good reasons to visit China and learn all there is to know about the country. 1) Beijing Olympics next year. 2) “Made in China” now means more than it ever did. 3)Communism is out. Free enterprise is in. 4) Real Chinese food comes from China. Not Chinatown.

Lucky me – I’ve been to China many, many times in the past few years. Made it my primary shopping venue, buying everything from thick, luscious oversized cashmere scarves (“seven dallah only”); imitation Juicy Couture everything for the budding teenagers that invade my home (“twenty dallah”); Dior, Hermes, Prada handbags (of the leather kind for “thirty dallah). I mastered the art of haggling, after learning that “you my best friend I give you best friend price” meant “Honey, my margins are 1000 percent, so even if you haggle, I’m still up”. At the markets, everyone was my best friend. They say to me “you American you haggle good”, I look at them in bewilderment and my outside voice tells them “I’m not American”. My inside voice says “In my not so distant heritage is Chinese blood. I’m one of you!!! So don’t think you can fool me, best friend! ”

I think Shanghai is beautiful and wild. The city's evolving skyline makes me think that the architects must be on drugs. But it’s on the verge of becoming almost too westernized.
Beijing, however, offers a multi-dimensional experience of tradition, culture and capitalism, old and new—and everything in between. Elsewhere on the web, you’ll learn about the usual must-see venues like the Great Wall, Tianamen Square, the Summer Palace, the Golden Temple, etc. But, hidden beneath all those well-worn tourist spots are little gems of entertainment --restaurants, streets, and other venues that are less often captured.

First stop: Wang Fu Jin – a cute pedestrian-only-at night part of town where you’ll find the popular and historic Beijing Hotel and other high end hotels; designer boutiques, Peking Duck restaurants and a KFC right in front, for those that aren’t quite as adventurous. There’s even a restaurant whose name is “Even the Dog Won’t Eat It” (see photo of sign and photos of why). For those that want to take the adventure all the way, turn right on that side street that is lined with food vendors. See the delicacies for yourselves in the pictures I’ve captured. It’s good to know that while Starbucks, KFCs and McDonalds have taken over the Forbidden City, here at Wang Fu Jin, traditional, local cuisine lives on. So, should you find yourself stretched out on United Airlines Flight No. 889 nonstop SFO - PEK, remember that Beijing is where East REALLY meets West. In more ways than one. (PS - Photos are a true testament to "Real Chinese Food Comes from China". )

Beijing Primer Photos. First Stop: Wang Fu Jin

I Don't Do Dead People

I happened to be in Miami last week….originally to visit an old and dear friend who had a double mastectomy last November, but the trip coincided with the funeral services of the husband of another old and dear friend. (Yes, I have lots of those…all from grade school and high school who remain my best friends to this day). I had never met the deceased – they lived too far away from me (and kept moving) and we all just got too busy with our lives. He was a faith healer of sorts, hence his services were attended by family, friends and followers.

I told my friend, Kim, that I would attend the wake of her husband. 'But", I warned her, “I don’t do dead people”. And here’s why.

All my life, I’ve had an active and very vivid memory. Both when I’m awake and asleep. I remember people exactly as I last saw them. If the last time I saw you was when we you were ten years old, that’s exactly how I’ll always think of you and how my mind will draw you. And when I dream of you and I probably will, I will think of you as that ten year old. So the last thing I want to do is see dead people, because that image will stay in my mind forever, never to be redeemed by another, more pleasant follow-up meeting. Not even the world's leading make-up-artist-to-the-living-and-dead will convince me you're just sleeping. I'll remember that image forever. I couldnt even look at my own father, or my sister when they passed. I want the memory of people I know and love to put a smile in my face. I don’t want to get the heebie-geebies.

So here’s a tip for those of you that dont like to look into the big brown box.

-Dress appropriately. Don’t look happier than the widow(er).
-Stand or sit in the back. Strategically place yourself so flowers and people will block the view.
-Pray for the soul of the departed and that the survivors are blessed with the strength to withstand this pain.
-Then, wait for the widow or family to make their way to the back.
-Give the surviving loved ones a very tight hug and tell them you’re sorry.
-If you're just an acquantaince and you’re asked if you want to see “Ramon”, or “Jim” or “Mary”, say “I have lovely memories of him/her when he/she was alive. I’d like to keep that.” Assuming you’re just an acquaintance.
-If you’re a REALLY good friend of the surviving wife , husband or child, you can simply say “I don’t do dead people” and it will make them laugh. References will be made to the movie "Sixth Sense" and the quote "I see dead people", etc, etc. At that point, you sacrifice a little of your self esteem and become the butt of jokes for all the other friends gathered around. What you’ve just offered is some much needed comic relief in a time of deep sorrow.

When a Good Waiter Makes a Big Difference

Favorite dining spot in Palo Alto - Bistro Elan on California street. I like it both for lunch and dinner. Easy in and out from 101 off the Oregon Expwy and away from the madness and mediocrity of University Ave. In the summer, the backyard patio is beautiful, filled with wisteria and freesia, shrubs of big, bright lemons and the aroma of fresh lavender, whose pots are strategically located to send off whiffs of perfume. The dining room is comfortable, not too big, well lit (very important!) - and has a nice buzz. The restaurant has been there for years and the food is good-- simple but very consistent. A nice, tight, easy to read menu of Frenchified American fare. I've been going there for years, and recently, I was there for lunch and dinner, and was blessed to be served by the same server.

When announcing the day's specials, his body language, facial expression and mannerisms all sounded like he was about to devour every single morsel of food he was describing. He was so expressive, you could almost taste and smell everything, and this was before our drinks even arrived. I was prepared to eat lightly, because the food-elves were a little too good to me this past holiday season. But, he inspired me and my appetite, so not only did I have a starter and an entree, but I had dessert. Bad, bad girl. But oohh..so good!!

Some restaurants understand that the waiter is the salesman. Another good experience lately was at the Cafe Majestic a couple weeks back. Another fabulous dinner spot in SF. In both places, the waiters were as passionate about the food as the chef and helped you make a smart and delicious selection. And when you go home and realize you're in a stupor and on the brink of a food coma, the only thing you'll remember is the great experience you had because both the food AND the service were superb. And unless you're European and get an ulcer when you have to leave more than 10 percent, with service like this, you won't mind parting with the 20 percent (or more) tip.


Scoop du Jour: California Ave in Palo Alto has a great selection of quality, well priced restaurants. Across Bistro Elan is the very quaint Cafe Brioche - a great lunch and weekend brunch spot. Creative salads and sandwiches. Closer to El Camino is El Bodeguito del Medio, a Cuban restaurant and bar named after Ernest Hemmingway's favorite spot in Havana. Killer Mojitos. Good empanadas. Cafe Pro Bono on Birch street still survives, and is still the favorite of local, long time residents. The crowd that dines here is a little more discriminating than University Ave.